...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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