Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
