If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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