What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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