there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
