you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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