Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
