Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
