I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize