Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
