Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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