Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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