oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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