He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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