Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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