So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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