she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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