Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
