hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
