You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
