i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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