Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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