everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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