Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
