Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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