My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
