yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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