hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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