people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize