my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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