she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
