Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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