Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
