how can u be prego again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
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My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize