we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
