Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
