did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want to fling myself into the sun
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
