Buhtt sex?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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