Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
