It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
