Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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