is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
