ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
