dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
