Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize