they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
