Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
