First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
tell me about the fingering
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