some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
