AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
