Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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