i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
