quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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