I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
