Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
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You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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