She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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