So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
