I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
