my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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