im holly from the hills drunk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
