So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
