He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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